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Dear God, or Merlin, or...Buddha?

Please smite Petunia soon-to-be Dursley




I think she smited herself, Evans.
You haven't the foggiest Potter

Vernon Dursley
How...unfortunate.. And I thought Natalia Bambi was bad.
James Potter isn't that far off
Lily Potter has a nice ring to it, though.
Oh but Natalia Potter sounds so much better.
Ooo. Does Nat have feelings for the illustrious and debonair James Potter that I don't know about?
Great. More Ego.

You know Potter not every girl is madly in love with you. It was an off-handed remark.
You're getting me confused with Sirius.

Although, Natalia Bambi Potter would be quite fun to say. I'd probably have to address her by her full name at all times.
Puh. You and Black are practically the same person.

so no denial then? Well I hope you two will be happy together.
Yes, I'm sure we will populate the world you've taken over with many children with funny names.
I beg to differ.

I won't have any little Potters running around my World. I'll send you to Australia which is covered in Lilies...just as a painful reminder.
You really know how to hurt me, Lily, dear.

I happen to think that our genes would produce very good-looking children - more your genes than mine, of course. I think it would be a service to the world.
our marriage, and our children in one conversation. You're very good Potter.

And no, I'm pretty sure we'd release a terror on the world, chances are she'll get get messy red hair and freckles.
She? You've already decided our child will be female? Next thing you know you'll have named her.

there is no our child. And even so, she would be named Sophie...or maybe Olivia?
I happen to like Jamie, but that's just me. Or maybe Jane. Or Jamesette.
Jamsette? Listen Potter no child of ours will ever be called Jamesette. Jamie is nice, but you really must love yourself to want to use your own name.

Dear Merlin, I did not just say all of that!
(OOC: This made me laugh, mainly because my name is Jamie and I have every intention of naming my first son James..haha)

Think of it - Jamie Lily Potter. I think it's a beautiful name.
(ooc: haha, well my name is Kaeli....and Ih ave no intention of naming my son ..Kale?)

It's terrible, there's absolutely no way I would ever--I can't believe I'm fighting with you over a child who will never exist.
Well, in my own defence, I'm sure you brought up our children.
I did not, you did, just to bait me.

You're nutters Potter
Only for you, Evans.
How flattering, now if you'd only direct that towards someone else...
That would mean I'd have to want to flatter someone else. And, seeing as Moony and I are ancient history..
..you resort to me. So basically Remus screwed me over big time. That jerk! and I even complimented his tight arse!
Hopefully you've learned now that you can't just give out compliments like that.
Maybe I shouldn't give any at all
I can't believe Petunia stole Verny from me. We were in love, I tell you!
Please, don't make me vomit.

He hasn't proposed quite yet, but Petunia was absolutely gushing at dinner tonight. Says she saw him with an odd shaped lump in his pocket.....

I think you know where that led to. I ended up in my room.
I'm proud of you. I only wish I was there to see the look on Tunia's face.
Ha she turned purple she was so mad, a trait I think Vernon rubbed off on her. God he is a vile man.

December 2006

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